”"If one is cruel to himself, how can we expect him to be compassionate with others?"
- Hasdai Ibn Shaprut (10th c. Jewish Scholar)
In a world where tactics shout loudest, the best leaders employ four strategic disciplines of “going away” to stay healthy, peaceful, and focused.
Hearing the word “retreat” might make you think of checking out. But you don’t have to disappear from your life completely. By learning to create the habit of regular strategic spaces for yourself, your development, your team, and your family, you’ll revitalize your inner capacity.
Why Retreat is Important
Studies have shown that managers and executives work at least 20% more than the average individual contributor. Living like this can cause burnout or breakdown due to being focused on the urgent, organizing around other people’s goals. “Retreat” comes from two Latin words – “Re” + “Trahere” which means to “draw back to a tract.” In other words, anyone leading anyone needs a literal place and practices to help them “draw back.” Do you have a place you go to recharge?
The four disciplines every leader needs are to: Go away alone. Go away with a guide. Go away with your team. Go away with your family.
Most leaders are already working more anyway. Why not just get more intentional with that extra time? In this short blog, I’d like to share more about each discipline and a new offering starting in 2025 where you can join a conversation through our all-new coaching cohorts.
Discipline 1: Go Away Alone
From the time we’re young, we’re taught to listen to everyone but ourselves, but learning to navigate our own interior terrain is perhaps the most important skill we can ever attain. Science has shown that real inner dialogue with oneself deepens awareness of what’s important. Leaders who spend time getting clear on their values and a life outside of work are not only happier but they show employees what it looks like and how they can do it too. The outcome: happier people and higher engagement with life and work. You’re more than a machine for making money; you’re a human with a real interior life, real interests, and real needs. What if you planned as if that were true?
Discipline 2: Go Away With a Guide
The higher you go in an organization, the less people tell you the truth. An unfortunate byproduct can be self-absorption, which can prevent you from reaching the real outcomes your organization needs. The risk isolated leaders run is engagement in “shadow missions,” which are unhealthy cycles of addictive behavior. The reason we do it is simple: we need to get our needs met somehow. But imagine what could happen if you learned to access outside wisdom? What if you could find a mentor or coach beyond you in age and stage of life?
Discipline 3: Go Away With Your Team
The idea of creating strategic time with your team isn’t new. But what I’m talking about is taking the time to build “Social Resilience,” which means fostering relationships of trust that can sustain whatever plans you make. Peter Drucker said, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” What Drucker meant was that the system of relationships you form will overpower your plans, every time. Do you know how to create healthy relationships so that your team knows how to move toward solutions when times get hard?
Discipline 4: Go Away With Your Family
The last discipline may sound counterintuitive when it comes to business, but it’s not. Going away with your family is about learning to embrace your own version of normal life. Think about the intention you apply at work. What if you applied just a fraction of that at home? What could that mean? You’re not Superman or Superwoman. Applying this intention to your family isn’t about what you can do for them; they have a lot to offer you too. By learning to apply intention to your family, you’ll show your teammates how to do it. The best result? Happier people = happier organization.