Leadership is often painted as a relentless pursuit of the next big thing, a constant state of striving and achieving. But what if the key to effective leadership lies not in the future, but in the present moment? What if the antidote to burnout and overwhelm is as simple as letting go of the stories we tell ourselves?
The Root of Leadership Suffering
Let’s start with a profound truth: most of our suffering is self-imposed. We create narratives around our experiences, and it’s in these stories (not the events themselves) where pain multiplies.
A friend recently shared a book by Lissa Rankin called Mind over Medicine which wisely points out how our emotions are fleeting (usually lasting only about 90 seconds), but the stories we attach to them can linger for years. As leaders, we’re particularly susceptible to this. We might equate a failed project with personal inadequacy or view a challenging employee as a reflection of our leadership skills. These stories can be exhausting and debilitating. Learning to pay attention to the present takes work, and I’ll show you a few practices to help in a moment.
I’ve been working on being present for a long time now. Recently, my son needed surgery, and a two-night stay ended up turning into six. Unable to speed things up (healing takes time), I hit a local bookstore and picked up Eckhart Tolle’s book, The Power of Now to read while I sat in his hospital room. In the book, Tolle shares Meister Eckhart’s (a German theologian) concept of psychological time. It’s the idea that we live in a constant loop of past regrets and future anxieties. We’re always either reliving yesterday’s mistakes or anticipating tomorrow’s challenges. This mental time-travel robs us of the present moment, the only place where true power and peace reside. Rather than being present, we needlessly suffer in the past or the future trying to engineer moments beyond our control.
For those of a Christian faith background, learning not to worry and be present is also taught by Jesus, in Matthew 6, where he shared that people don’t need to worry about tomorrow, what we will eat or drink or wear, but that just as God provides for animals and plants, he will provide for you. Jesus understood the futility of dwelling on what’s to come. Instead, he encouraged us to focus on today, trusting that God will provide for our needs.
Practical Steps to a More Present Leadership
So, how can leaders apply these profound insights to their daily lives? Let’s break it down into practical steps:
- Cultivate Mindfulness: Focus on the breath, observe your thoughts, and ground yourself in the present moment through your senses.
- Challenge Your Stories: Question your narratives, seek alternative perspectives, and focus on solutions rather than problems.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself (as you would with a close friend), forgive yourself, and celebrate small wins.
- Set Boundaries: Prioritize, say no when necessary, and delegate tasks.
- Find Your Purpose: Connect with your values (do you know yours?), serve others, and practice gratitude.
Leadership is often equated with relentless responsibility and anxiety. If that’s the world you live in, I’m sorry! But I get it. Often it seems we’re expected to manage, control, and manipulate our way to success. But this approach is unsustainable and leads to burnout personally, and sets the stage for our teammates to wonder if they can keep up, if they even want to keep up, or if they need to go somewhere else to reinvent themselves.
But healthy leadership emerges from a place of presence, compassion, and purpose. It starts with you, then multiplies out to your team. If you need help cultivating an organizational culture like this, we can help. Read more, then contact us.
A Ripple Effect of Leadership
Remember, leadership is a journey, not a destination. It’s about continuous growth and learning. By integrating these practices into your daily life (and organization), you can reduce stress, increase resilience, and become a more effective and compassionate leader.
Shifting your leadership mindset from constantly striving to the way of presence and purpose has impacts. If you learn this at a heart level, you will not only alleviate your own suffering but also create a ripple effect of positivity and well-being for those around you. A leader who is grounded and centered can foster a calmer, more productive, and supportive work environment. By choosing to be present and compassionate, you can transform your organization into a place where people thrive, and take home a better way of being in every part of their lives.